Is this really my fifth transition?

After my stint at heat training, my hair is really very dry so I decided to stop using heat, the dryness however had a partner, harsh sulfates. I decided that as much as I love the nexxus shampoo on my hair it has not been doing wonders for my scalp so I have stopped using my Therapee shampoo. I decided to go back to Aubrey organics that I used in my third transition, that was after all the best my hair has ever been in my life. My retrospective has really helped me evaluate what works for me and what does not.

Now since I have given up heat my hair has shown just how natural it still is, I mean the relaxer hardly effected it, its about as natural as someone who uses dye on natural hair, dryer and slightly looser but with lots of body, I essentially have about nine months of natural hair on my head and as my new growth comes in this becomes more and more obvious. The texture is not consistent and I would not continue to under process the chemical and an alternative as I think its harder than natural hair as its just damaged.

 My hair is quite fragile so I have taken to detangling with my fingers, this is a first for me and takes some patience but its working. I feel that its making me see that my harsh manual manipulation of my hair is in someway to blame for my split ends. My Denman brush is too harsh too, my best brush is a boar bristle brush used only for smoothing my hair line. The Aubrey Organics (AO) Honeysuckle rose conditioner and shampoo as well as the AO GPB new lavender and ylang ylang line has softened my new growth and I wish that I never stopped using them as they simply are the best for me. Armed with this knowledge i am going to continue to keep my hair clean and simple, so that I can concentrate on my new business and getting my body back :-)

Transitioning Tales, natural products means health over style.

My third transition was a more knowledgeable decision, I had collar bone length (pass shoulder length not quite apl) hair and I was dye free, my hair was a natural reddish brown. I used a lot of the healthy hair practices you may already be familiar with and had been heat and dye free for almost a two years.  I had also stretched for the last sixteen weeks of my second pregnancy  and had glimpsed my natural texture, at one point I had used heat to get a relaxed look and realised that you did not have to have a relaxer to achieve straight hair, I still relaxed again but a small seed had been placed in my mind.I had discovered natural hair concoctions and it was a complete revelation to me that natural plant based products could give me healthy manageable hair, however when it was time to style my hair with heat or chemicals I seemed to be undoing all my hair work.

It was impossible to use a flat iron as it would bake these virgin goods onto the hair strand and cause damage. I had also noticed that my healthier hair was more resistant to the relaxer, my hair is very course and thick but has a looser texture sort of a 3c/4a. I find that without the double processing from the permanent dyes I used to use and the applications of henna coating my hair strands my hair was becoming more and more resistant and this left me with texlaxed hair. To deal with my many variations of texture I had rediscovered heat styling and chi silk infusion which gave me bone straight silky hair that to be honest I loved. However a day or too after a styling session, with high quality salon products and tools, my hair had split ends. Was it old damage getting aggravated and splitting? I would never reach waist length with all these splits! I had to evaluate weather I wanted to go straight and smooth or long and healthy. It was a hard decision, so I cut to shoulder length in order to get rid of the bad relaxer that ended my last transition and then thought better off chopping hair off completely.

Looking back I know that I big chopped to stop myself from relaxing and because I loved all the images I had seen on the Internet. I had read some really strong political articals and blogs on natural hair and wanted to be apart of this natural journey. I started to despise my relaxed hair, like an ulcer, no worse a cancer that had to be cut off so that I could be healthy. Finally I suffered an accident and hurt my leg, I could not walk and so decided to big chop as I could not be fussed with my hair anymore.

I had mixed reviews, my online community seemed both horrified and inspired by my chop but I did find that some went as far to stop all communication as I was no longer on their long relaxed hair journey. Friends and family said I looked good but I could see that they thought I was crazy. This was my best experience natural products worked well for me and without the relaxer to break up the party my hair just continued to thrive.

This was my most healthy experience, I stopped using products with sulfates and silicone, bought ayurvedic powders and African oils. Body art quality henna for colour and strength and made my own conditioner in my kitchen. I bathed my hair in coconut milk leave in and my curls hung drunk with moisture in pretty twist. I made a satin pillow case an matching scarf to keep my hair moist as I slept. However I hated my length and started out with scab hair or ends with a little relaxer left behind or damaged by the blades of the shaver. The only mistake I had made was using an electric shaver to start my journey and I should have transitioned for at least a year before cutting.

However I had a major setback at ten months later. My hair was getting a good length and was beautiful to me to the touch, it was at its best but I wanted it to be longer I experimented with braids that I rinsed every other day with conditioning herbs a great idea! I will do that again but I had started to realise that more shorter length made installing braids long and exhausting and I could not do the the thicker braids to make it easier and less damaging to my scalp. I used indigo to dye it jet black but at Christmas decided that I wanted cherry red hair. I reasoned that the reason why dye had recked my hair before was  because my hair had not been healthy enough. I was so wrong, when I dyed my hair with chemicals over henna treated hair and I experienced horrid hair! My hair went from its best to its very worst. I discovered single strand knots and moisture refused to stay in my strands. I know realise that my cuticle was damaged and my hair had become porous. I was so depressed that a month before a year anniversary I decided to put a relaxer in to stop the de-tangling nightmare I suffered daily.

Nappturalite Radio show features Kimmaytube on hair and personality types and Chicoro.

I have recently rediscovered Kimmaytube, I was absolutely shocked to see that in the time that I had not checked out her channel, about 18 months, she had gone from armpit length and reached waist length! Curious I started to watch her videos, she is a fantastic editor and very watchable and soon came across a link to a radio show featuring Chicoro and her book "grow It".

Well I could not wait to hear from Chicoro as she does not have a channel on you tube or anything other than her fotki album but it was Kim Love that featured a very interesting view that I thought very relevant to my journey. Kim has observed that people with extrovert personality are more likely to keep on changing their hair and may have issues or setbacks when trying to reach their hair goals. Introvert people on the other hand are more likely to stick to their regimen, be consistent and reach their hair goals with a minimal hiccup.

I think this is certainly true for me but interestingly I am not a typical extrovert, if anything I struggle between the too. I have often aspired to be an extrovert but I am pretty quite in truth. I do not always feel comfortable in the limelight if its for the wrong reason, lady gaga for example is too much for me. I think that I like attention for getting it right and hope that my personality will attract people. I look beautiful when I keep it simple and my natural journey is about celebrating the simplicity of my beauty rather than covering it up and trying to make it something it is not.

Another idea is that people tend to react to large events in their life by changing their hair ie: the break-up haircut. Now this is more to the point for me, if I look at my progress on Fotki, I can name big events that directly correlate with every haircut or big chop that I have done. Even my recent relaxer was because we had building works done and I wanted to feel more put together with all the strangers in my house, transitioning hair often does not look presentable. If I feel frustrated or vulnerable I always relax my hair or chop it off, to make my life "easier" then when the dust has settled I morn my decision and carry on growing the long natural hair I yearn for. So if life was more routine for me, more safe I would be less likely to make such drastic changes to my appearance.

I have had many, many severe changes in my twenties, very severe. However now I am 31, I have had three children and married the love of my life, live in a beautiful house in a pleasant village, I feel for the first time in my life that I am ready for simplicity. I aspire to simplicity, organisation and routine and a simple hair regimen with no bells or whistles will be apart of this.

This is why with my fifth and final transition I have turned my attention to my scalp as its the only living part of the equation. Don't get me wrong I will moisturise my hair but using heat and chemicals hurts my scalp but not my hair so if I keep my scalp in mind maybe I can learn to be more gentle and considerate. Of course those process weather my hair and cause breakage but breaking does not hurt whilst a sore, burnt scalp does. I have very little natural hair at the moment so I am targeting my hair through my scalp so that my new growth is healthy and whole. This idea is a simple one, lets maintain what we have and take care of it.

Kim Love and Chicoro agree that hair is a fiber that needs to be preserved, not too much combing, low manipulation, protective styles, moisture etc all keep your hair fiber intact and on your head. I have always talked about hair as being a material and I am happy to see such hair gurus say a similar thing independently.

This show was quite long and I must say I did not agree with the porosity conversation as I do not believe hair to have pores like that of the skin but in fact has cuticles that when left raised leave the hair in a porous state, that is my understanding. However this is a great show, Chicoro and Kim Love are nearer the end of the recording, happy listening.

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Transitioning Tales, texturiser and wigs. part two

The second transition was less about dying but all about wearing a texturizer and a wig that began to feel like it was my hair.

At the end of my first transition I had relaxed and had course damaged hair, some said it was nice but I knew the truth. I was pregnant and decided that a big chop would give me  the freedom not to relax my hair. It did but my new round tummy and round head started to make me feel like a boy with a beer belly.

I decided to use a kiddie texturizer, I remember that it contained sunflower oil and made my curls drop slightly so that my hair did not look so thick and it felt good, but I soon realised that if I wanted to grow my hair with a texturizer it would be hard work keeping all the hair the same texture as my ends would gradually get straighter. I started to shave my head and it was a cool look but i felt like apart of me was missing, my long thick hair was apart of me and I thought that it was a shame that i had cut it off. I started to wish that I had stubborn fragile hair because then I could just keep it short with a clear conscience. Silly I know, but I started wearing a wig to give the hair hair I was missing I thought that I could just grow my hair in the meantime but I neglected it instead, as long as I was wearing a wig and my hair looked good who cared about the inside. However I feel other people did I remember a friend of mine sighing with relief when I finally stopped wearing the wig, I was so embarrassed as i had only looked good in my head!

By the time my son was born I had about an inch of sort of relaxed hair that I would wrap at night. However I had a new love now, someone else to concentrate on and my hair grew with a little conditioner only washing and leave in as its only aid. Six months later I had reached an awkward stage and decided to relax, my first relaxer did not work as my hair was stronger now, so I went to a hairdresser and after best part of an hour processing I had bone straight hair.

Transitioning tales, the beginining part one.

As I embark on my fifth transition I know that many people would have given up by now but I am really determined to make my failures a success. Every time I make a mistake  I feel as if I have tried something and learned something new and knowledge is power after all.  I sometimes sit down and think "this should not be so hard, its just hair" but its much harder then you would think.

It has become deeply unfashionable of late to talk about going natural as a spiritual journey and I agree and disagree with this notion. On one hand I do not think a lack of relaxer application is going to change you, nor is wearing a weave or braids for a period of time and deciding to stop applying them. I think spiritual growth is all about getting your priorities straight and deciding that actually you are more interested in how healthy you feel then how you look. This is the case in all areas of your life and indeed is a mental health issue as well as a spiritual one. Basically you can talk the talk but if you can not walk the walk you are just not going to succeed.

For example for my first transition it was all about how I looked, I wanted to have a natural hair style and to not have to apply relaxer anymore. I remember going to a party and realising that all the girls were successful educated black women and most of them had beautiful natural hair. I thought that relaxed hair would soon be out of fashion and I just had to follow the trend. I started to transition, even on my wedding day I was about twelve weeks post.  I then had my new husband cut my hair after four months and sported a cute teenie weenie Afro. I kept on cutting because the style did not look great as it grew out. I slept with my hair uncovered, dyed it, played with it, put braids in, took them out and cried when my hair was not pretty. The only positive thing I did was discover sta sof fro and mini twist outs but basically it was all about appearances.

I needed to look perfect all the time and my texture surprised and embarrassed me, length was also a massive issue, I just hated short hair.  I felt very unattractive and had gained a little weight too, to cover this up I tried adding waist length braids to two inches of hair. My hair was dense so it would take me hours only for me to rip them out after two weeks because the no longer looked fresh.

When I relaxed my hair eight months later it was so rough and damaged that I cut it all off and restart my transition. However my experiment had shown me that without a relaxer my hair would still suffer damage and that color was not for me it had my hair rough and dry. I knew that color was not for me and vowed to stop using it.