Accepting that relaxer is your styling choice.

Friends, I recently came to an important conclusion, I have tried to stop relaxing my hair and I have tried every technique but in the end I have come to the conclusion that my indecision is literally ruining my hair. Looking after anything requires patience and consistency, and changing your regime every few weeks is the complete opposite of what you need to grow your hair long and strong. I have been so all over the place jumping on every band wagon going and believing every hype that I read about that this year and as a result I have experienced some breakage and thinning that I can see that I can pin point back to transitioning or stretching my relaxer for too long, using to much heat trying to "heat train" my new growth.

My thick, course and dense hair hides the damage well and I am still on my way to bra strap despite all my changes, but I have seen the most growth in the last four months when I started taking it easy on my hair and swore off anything more than dusting my ends. You see, my hair is damaged and cutting off that damage will give me instant relief but, I think my ends will always have a certain amount of damage so I might as well learn to manage it rather than cutting it off. Its just so demotivating to grow your hair and then chop off three inches, that is four to six months growth.

My previous relaxer was in September after a four month stretch, I thought that I was transitioning but with my hair gaining length I really wanted to enjoy it. I avoided heat, especially my flat iron as I noticed that it made my new growth very dry which eventually leads to breakage. My hair was feeling strong and after some encouragement from a friend I took the plunge and relaxed using Organic Root Stimulator's lye relaxer. I was really pleased with the results but I had this strong feeling of failure and guilt, I deleted my blog in shame. All I could think was why can't I transition am I ashamed of my natural beauty, do I have issues with how God made me?

I started to research relaxer addiction on the internet....and then I came to my senses, I was not addicted to relaxer, I just love to where my textured hair straight. My hair does not look European, Asian, or otherwise. My hair looks like what it is, course, chemically straightened hair, its unique in its own right and its beautiful. Its me, just like I love to wear the colour red and form fitting dresses, its  a part of my personal style and I should not feel ashamed.